What if nothing changes? What if you are already “there” what if this is it?
Depending on where you are and what you are experiencing in life this might be a good or bad thing to ponder. But for now, it doesn't matter, because, spoiler alert, everything does change, so if you’re happy savor the moment, and if you're going through hell just keep moving….
We love to chase the ups and run from the downs, at least I do, There is something in our nature to move towards optimization and excitement, and this is a good thing because we were made for greatness and if we don’t move forward we tend to move backward…
But this said it doesn't have to be all drama and dreams and depression ALL THE TIME. Those things will always be coming, going, rising, and falling as per the undulation of the human experience. But let's not forget about the flat spots, because there are also a lot of flat spots, and they can be worth talking about because we spend a good chunk of our lives there.
What is a flat spot?
The World often makes us think everything is fast that things happen quickly and dramatically and if they don’t then you are somehow broken, deficient, or failing, but this is a lie because life is actually slow. The Mondays the Wednesdays, the slow Thursday afternoon at work, the rainy Sunday when you don’t know what to make for dinner … the beautiful sunrise on a typical Tuesday…. A lot of the time these things are the reality that we live in. Changing a diaper, doing the dishes, driving the same route to work, loading up your tools… this is the stuff of life, the real stuff, this is the stuff of the flat spots.
I don’t know about you but I have caused myself a lot of unnecessary anxiety but trying to cheat the flat spots, thinking there was something wrong with them, chasing after some shiny object to get away from them, being uncomfortable with them… but in the end, you can’t outrun a flat spot, you can’t fast forward, and I am finally realizing that this is a good thing.
Does this mean I should accept a mediocre life? No, not at all, accepting the flat spots is never about settling for less than you can be or caving to mediocrity, a very real pitfall that people fall into all the time, “oh that’s just life” they say when they have finished complaining about a job they could have left years ago to do something else. No this is not about making excuses, what it is about is making meaning in the mundane, appreciating and accepting the beauty and smallness of everyday life, and not losing it in the pursuit of the next “high” or in fleeing from the last “low”.
One of my favorite movies is Ben Stiller’s production of “Walter Midi” the story of a rather plain middle-aged man who is always losing himself in daydreams. At first glance, it might seem like such a story promotes escapism rather than embracism (I think I just invented that word) but as the movie plays out we see the opposite is true. The main character “Walter” is an example of someone who appears stuck in one of these flat spots, he doesn’t have any huge ups or downs so he starts to invent them in his mind, but the reason that the story is so beautiful is that as the movie goes on we see that the real beauty of Walter is that he embraces his role, his family responsibilities, and his simple daily tasks and as a result, his fantasies fade and his dreams become real.
Now at first, it might seem like a bit of a stretch to say that changing a diaper makes a dream come true but in the long run that really is the case, one day you will be at that kid’s wedding wondering how it all happened, happy and sad at the same time unable to believe where it all went. The flat spots might be slow in the short term but they are very fast in the long term.
Some days it might seem like nothing is happening, that your duties are dull as dull can be, that like Walter Midi there is nothing romantic whatsoever about your path but that is just a temptation and an illusion, and the worst thing we can do is to give into it. The temptation is to abdicate in favor of something more exciting, something more enticing, but that is a temptation to daydreams a temptation away from reality. In the movie, Walter works in the picture department for LIFE magazine, their beautiful motto sets the tone for the story but also contrasts sharply with the rather drab existence of Walter’s daily life. The motto reads,
“To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other and to feel. That is the meaning of life”
At first, there is only irony in this contrast and it is only the daydreams that seem to make such a motto relevant, but as the story goes on we see it is not the daydreams but the daily duties that bring these words to life, it is in radically embracing and not from running that this motto become a reality in Walter’s life, and I believe the same is true for you and me.
It might seem like nothing is happening, you might be discouraged and feel like your not getting anywhere, you might be tempted to take a shortcut, to bemoan your circumstances or escape into daydreams but do be discouraged, the flat spots are the shortest way home, the world will tell you otherwise but that’s just a lie, so don’t be afraid to embrace the mundane, to accept the day to day, to take the next best step, and you will see the world, you will come to things to dangerous, you will see behind walls, you will draw closer and you will find each other and feel.
Yours in the flat spots,
Ben